if we purposefully set off in opposite directions; we couldn't end up any further apart.

Words words words.

Today i have done my own head in. entirely.
Between work and other stuff, i have totally fried my brains. I need any distraction. Anything.
To most things i don't give a fuck. i'm not an easy person to wind up. but if something gets to me i can't ignore it.
I don't know how to explain this; i'm probably better writing this by hand.

I've filled my mind and my time with something entirely positive. The last few days i have grinned like a spesh, and really felt fantastic.
I've been on the receiving end of something amazing, and i'm really grateful. Promise.

I just don't know how to not end up worrying about stuff i care about.
I don't even know if i'm supposed to be taking this seriously. It may just be a laugh, and i'm seeing more than there is. I dunno.

When you have something good, you're amazed at first.
You appreciate just how lucky you are.
all my thoughts have been entirely positive and i have just been captivated. Entirely.
i've just concentrated on trying my best and enjoying myself.

But what if something makes you happy, but all you can do is worry about maintaining it, or what the future holds?

i know worrying has no practical use, and it's just a waste of time. If you find myself caring about something, especially in his conext - i just get a shouting in my head. constant fucking loud.

I have became my own worst enemy today.
I'm trying to use past experience to learn, and i'm not gonna let me, ruin me.
I'm not going to act like a cunt and do things i later regret.
I need to appreciate what i have; nothing more.
I need to not worry.
I'm just saying it's fucking hard.

I deffo think i would be better of with pen and paper.
I miss alot. x